Personal development is all about becoming the best version of ourselves. We’re obsessed with it, and rightfully so. Whether religion is your foundation or science, beyond belief, no one can truly explain the significance of your life. It’s remarkable. Excuse me—you are remarkable.
If you think about all of your family’s experiences, your parents’ decision-making and timing, and then down to the cellular level, your existence is special. Yes, beyond our birth, there are differences. Make no mistake, your being born is a gift.
This is why I love personal development. I can’t explain why I am here. But why I am here doesn’t truly matter. What matters most is what I do with myself—for myself first, then for my family, and then for others while I am here. My belief is that I have a duty to be the best version of myself because there are so many who are unable to.
I challenge you to do the same. Daily.
It is uncomfortable and can feel defeating at times. Similar words, such as “I don’t feel like doing it,” are your brain’s comfort zone, influencing you to stay in place. Become stagnant. Cease to grow. You were born to develop, lead change, and endure.
You weren’t born to be a slave to your emotions. You were born to understand them, use them as a guide, and push the boundaries of your existence.
This is your wake-up call if you’re feeling defeated. Failure is OK. In fact, it’s needed to propel you to the next level. If you’ve felt defeated, tired, or confused, take a break, reassess, and then get back to it.
At least, that’s what I would do.
Reducing Anxiety in 5…4…3…2…1
Anxiety is widespread and can impact anyone. Overall, the experience of anxiety is subjective, and you’re valid in what you feel. Whether you are worried about a situation, nervous, or fear the worst.
Likewise, maybe you have trouble sleeping, emotional or relational difficulties, and are struggling on the job.
The reasons and triggers may differ, but the experience is generally the same and can be paralyzing.
Use this reverse-order technique the next time you’re experiencing anxiety and can’t seem to steady your mind.
- Focus on your breathing. Take deep, long, and controlled breaths to help maintain a sense of calm.
- Identify 5 things that you see around you. You don’t have to say anything or name them; just make yourself aware of the present.
- Identify 4 things that you can touch. Taking the previous step further, notice the objects or items near that you can physically touch. Again, you don’t have to move or feel these items — just become aware.
- Identify 3 things you can hear. The key is to focus on the surrounding sound and identify the noise. Whether it is internal like your stomach churning or external as the sound of a passing car.
- Identify 2 things you can smell. Depending on where you are, the smell may be more significant or minimal. If you have to move to find a scent, then adjust accordingly and regain focus.
- Identify something (1 thing) you can taste. Can you taste your last meal or what you had to drink? A piece of gum, mint, or candy? Have you not eaten in a while? What does that taste like for you?
Take-home
When it comes to anxiety, the experience can be too great, making it challenging to be aware of what’s going on in the present moment.
Use this skill to ground yourself in the present, allow for a mantra, positive self-talk, and calm your mind. Please let me know if it works for you or doesn’t. Don’t hesitate to share your thoughts with me — @modern.therapist
Quotes That Are Guiding Me This Week
I am often confused and worried that what I am doing is leading me in the direction that I want for my life. So, I do plenty of awareness activities to check in with myself regularly. Still, despite all the effort, I feel defeated some days.
One of the things I keep in mind is perseverance. It’s not going to magically happen for me and someone else won’t hand-deliver a miracle. At the end of the day — it’s on me.
So, I’ve come to the conclusion that I can keep pushing for better or I can give up and settle. I choose to keep pushing and I will continue to do so forever as long as it takes.
A couple of quotes along the way often help. Here are some of my favorites this week.
- We cannot solve problems with the kind of thinking we employed when we came up with them. —Albert Einstein
- Stay away from those people who try to disparage your ambitions. Small minds will always do that, but great minds will give you a feeling that you can become great too. —Mark Twain
- Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. – Thomas Edison
- When you change your thoughts, remember to also change your world. —Norman Vincent Peale
- All time favorite!! – I will persist until I succeed. Always will I take another step. If that is of no avail I will take another, and yet another. In truth, one step at a time is not too difficult. I know that small attempts, repeated, will complete any undertaking. – O.G. Mandino